


Raison D'etre

by m8gane



Series: Raison D'etre [1]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, Childhood, Gen, Headcanon, Murder, characters are added as they appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:27:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9509000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m8gane/pseuds/m8gane
Summary: Antoine Baudelaire didn't really want a lot as a child, but when he finally gained a desire, it only helped dig his own grave.





	

_It was beautiful._

 

Eight-thirty sharp it was, by now I should have been in bed. Like any child that lived, eight-thirty in the evening just wasn’t that _late_ , of _course_ I would want to stay up; there was just so many things to do! Why waste such precious time unconscious, when you can enjoy the state of being awake, reveling in the temporary youth older folks are so envious to have?

 

Humans are just like flowers.

 

They grow, they breathe, they die.

 

Grow, breathe, die,

 

and the process begins again.

 

Again and again and again,

 

from flower from flower,

 

from human from human.

 

Death happens to all living things. It’s normal, so why are we always still so surprised when it happens?

 

Many thought I was an odd child.

 

Staying up at eight-thirty sharp—now it was eight-thirty-five—I did not have a handheld I hid under my pillow to play under the blankets, nor did I play old-school, fiddling with action-figures and building blocks. Despite my status, my wealth, my privilege, all I had in hand was a dusty, old book.

It’s not that I didn’t want said toys, but Father wouldn’t let me have them. Father would say it would make me dumb, and harm the intelligence I was gifted with at a very young age. I wasn’t allowed to go outside to play either, and I was home-schooled by a very strict teacher, so not even school could give me even a sliver of fun. But the odd child I was,

I was totally okay with that.

I’m not quite sure how, but little me endured every second, minute, hour, and day of the same weekly routine. But I do remember one thing about little me; I really loved to learn new things. From instruments to math to history, I loved everything about it. But even so, I still felt so incomplete, despite my skills and intelligence piecing me up like a puzzle.

So when I saw that man slit the throat of my father,

I wanted to learn how to do that too.

How to look as elegant as he, doing such a gruesome act—

It was like… trompe l'oeil.

It didn’t feel like it was happening, it was just so surreal—yet it was so beautiful, that my eyes glimmered with inspiration.

It made me realize what I was missing.

Father meant nothing to me anymore, as I no longer meant anything to him. Of course, he wasn’t always so tyrannical, I have seen the days where he was a kinder man. But like a reverse Grinch, his heart only shrunk in size. I watched my father lose himself to the wealth and popularity, and slowly I started to stop caring as well. He wasn’t my father anymore, he died a long time ago, and that man living with me is only a husk I can care less about.

So I dashed as fast as I could outside.

Without that husk or order me around anymore, I could do anything I’ve wanted!

I didn’t demand for a handheld, action-figures, building blocks or books,

What I wanted was…

 

* * *

 

 

“ _ **Please teach me how to kill!**_ ”

 

I managed to breath out, panting from the all the running I had to do, all the way from the top floor. I was able to catch the killer before he left, and I was already ready to blurt out a response as soon as the man spoke.

“...Seriously?”

He turned his body toward me, looking down only to find an exhausted blond child. He looked foreign from here, yet his French sounded near-perfect.

“I just murdered your father with these hands.”

— “ ** _I don’t care!!_** ”

It felt like my heart was beating as fast as a hummingbird’s, I wasn’t sure if I could contain my excitement. Too excited that I didn’t notice that he automatically assumed—or knew—that I was the child of the man he killed. Perhaps it was obvious? Or he knew I came from the same mansion he was just at. I took a deep breath as I was starting to regain my energy, gulping as I stood straight, trying to impress the stranger.

“T-the moment I witnessed the grace with which you murdered my father…”

At this point, the man rose his brow. I’ve practiced public speaking before and have practically mastered that skill before I could even speak (of course, I’m exaggerating) yet I felt a hint of nervousness as I started to speak.

“... I realized the very thing that was missing in my unfulfilled, privileged life.”

At this point, I didn’t care if the man looked at me strange or not. I took a deep breath, my arms and legs shaking from the anticipation.

“ _I’ll do anything to be like you, even if it **kills** me!!_

 _I just **GOTTA** have those skills!!_ "

 

I should have listened to the husk of my father; ‘Desiring things makes you dumber’.

Because the moment I yelled those words aloud,

I didn’t realize I was getting myself into a Hell I lacked the talent to think up on my own.

 

**Author's Note:**

> its like,, my first time using this site so im still hella confused as what the fuck i should tag things as.. Anyway, I guess you can call this as some sort of AU, because as soon as I get to his arc in the series, instead of him getting Sacked then taken in by Shiro like in canon, I'm completely rewriting the end part of the arc because of Matsui's shitty writing and use of deus ex machina. This series MAY turn into a romance with a certain fellow villain who's name starts with Taka and ends with Oka, but it's likely I'm probably going to end the series then continue it in a separate series starring the romance. anyways enjoy this series full of my headcanons lolololol (hence the blond hair and the name Antoine)


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